Psalm 151 (artist psalm)

by jpoetic

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Well first off
If I'm honest I don't feel ok
I live in Portland which means there always seems to be rain
I'm not trying to complain
I'm like 5 seconds away
From giving up because being an artist doesn't seem to pay
But I guess life is just that way
I have to remember it could be worse
I guess I write because it's therapeutic to put it on a verse
Plus I have no one else to blame
Maybe my own laziness got me here
But I feel like I grind from like 9 to 9
Sometimes I wish there was no such thing as time
It's like each second laughs as it passes
Ridiculing me my mistakes in the past
Keep creeping up but I look up
Lord I pray for joy but I'm not sure if it's my own fault
And if that's the case maybe it's you just telling me to stop
Some doors open
Some doors close
I know your sovereign I also know that's just the way it's goes
I need to work harder
But the snooze is mighty appealing at 6 am
3 hours later I arise already feeling like I've sinned
Plus I think I might be just a little depressed
And I can't stand it when I'm not the center of attention
But I digress
I guess I'm exiting out of that season when u answered prayers quickly
It's in your silence that chastisement reminds me your still with me
That's a paradox
And I will not seek another's face
Jonah sat by a tree to get shade
And it just withered away
I'm sure he was extra heated
Because he finally was obedient
But those who suffer know
The Lord gives and takes away
I cannot do this without you
I have no strength
And the harsh reality is while on this place
It doesn't always turn out ok
But I don't know if it was ever intended to
It's like I'm being groomed in expectation
Of a future that cannot be known
In the historical context that is this broken earth in which we roam
A bride awaits
A future home
Lord help.


released 19 May 2014



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